therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
