I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
