It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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