At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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