somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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