Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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