I am puke
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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