I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
