tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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