so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
