We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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