my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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