CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
