Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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