i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
