he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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