she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
