you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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