.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Operation Purity has been aborted
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
