we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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