You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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