Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
