I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
