Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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