dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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