Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
there is puke in my bra ... again
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
