I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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