What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
