do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
