have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
