Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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