I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
