i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
