Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
