smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
