Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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