nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
