shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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