My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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