Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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