butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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