This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to calm my uterus...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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