when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
