At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
