she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Randomize
