Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
