It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
