its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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