My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
