I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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